A Commute through Orkut Communities...

Here is another slippery weekend sliding beneath my feet. As i sit acting idle, with feeling rather unsuccessful with my attempts to follow "Operation Afraid", i start scanning my social appearance at Orkut. (P.S. I did succeed in beating one dreaded task. Successfully washed the clothes, a task no less than a feat. Though the fear of uncompleteness did keep me away from taking a bath and shaving. You see victory ask for persistent efforts :P) And along my stroll, I again dashed into a place i find the most meaningless. The Communities.

I always thought that it should be wrong to say that i completely hate them. The fact that i myself have joined around 50 communities should signify that. But then it was today i thought to drill into my communities' choice. And then rose the truth. All the communities i have joined can largely be divided into following categories:
  • Ones i joined as a newbie, similar to a kiddie thrown into a toy shop picking random toys
  • Ones which i was forced to join with an ultimatum of sort "Join now" ('or you will be hanged alive' was always silent :P)
  • Ones wherein you just feel great to be part of. It hardly matters how much sense it makes in you joining them
And it was then i realized that communities are indeed quite a boring and meaningless places to be in. More meaningless than boring. Include one more of ones which i created and I guess we have the categories generic enough to include the whole 'orkut'ers. First, it hardly has any sensible activity going on. (One can surely not mark people proving themselves to be superior by posting last or naming there predecessor or playing jokers as sensible.) Secondly, thanks to the first point and the second and third category, it hardly reflects what the person's interest really are. So a weirdo playing a "Rate the person above you" game in C++ community places him straight into the third category just in for senseless fun.

Moreover mostly are the occasions wherein the common interest projected itself is quite confusing. There are majority just to display one's liking for blah blah singer, writer, director, actor, books, sports-persons, nations, places and every such namable entity. For each one mentioned above there is an anti-community of haters. Each one of these have various levels of followers: country wise, state wise, city wise, university wise and the digging just goes on. Then there are those which say they exists for common purpose like "spreading happiness", "cutting sorrows", "making healthy", "shit happens: you are not alone" and bhah blah. And finally those which are quite weird which do make you raise your eyebrows. Few to mention "I hate orkut" (wouldn't it be a good idea to group such interesting people in Facebook) or "Announce new orkut communities" (Community with a goal to promote other community?? how innovative) or "Absurd Communities" or "I hate orkut communities" (need i say anything??). How i wished to be innovative enough to come up with something so fascinating and new. No wonder each community has atleast a single copy with equal number of members.

Anyways whatever i say, they do exists and exists with thunderous activities. I know i do have missed to crown many others which indeed need a mention. But then considering the vastness of this community world, i dare you try that out!

Security and Privacy!!!

Just found this amazing image depicting how security and privacy are inter-related in todays web-world. I guess its pretty simple.

"You won your security. But they own your privacy"
Update: Apologies to all those who indeed saw quite a supposedly "private" image here. All thanks to the dynamic image whose contents were "weirdly" played with. Now that was quite an experience, something worth learning from.

Operation 'Not Afraid'!!!

Throughout my student and professional life, i have been named and renamed hundreds and thousands of times. If i was made dada, manu etc at home, each one followed that up by gawande, amit, amith (southernized), wasudeo (!!! thats my father's name. Isn't that ironic that it was called when i wanted it to be the least, while distributing the checked answer sheets), strato, gaws and recently to few more. I felt like a bot in quake3 arena getting named for each player. Yeah!! as if this wasn't enuf i myself tagged myself with "the great", "the warrior", "gaws", "gamer" and simply "the player" in gaming arena. But there was the one that kept following me and i dreaded the most. "Phattu" (meaning "the fearful". Quite interesting isn't it? I feared the name itself). Though i felt it wasn't fare enough, I feared the things every normal one did. And if someone didn't i always felt he should be called the fearfree (physo??? :P).

Anyways today it was just by chance that i thought why not untie this tag from myself. But the first step was to list down the things i feel i fear the most in recent time. Because the countless times i was afraid is the past now and past hardly counts. So here goes the list of my recent 'fearmakers':

1) Weekends: Yep. These dudes come with a promise to let me complete all my jobs i have been postponing to meet just to slide under my feet with a lighting speed keeping me awake every sunday night. And thats the night i go to sleep with mostly zilch completed. Few uncompleted jobs include random internet surfs, itemized jobs like meeting, following up with XYZ, completing uncompleted work over the weekdays, do some shopping, paying bills, calling someone and and... Uff the list really goes on. Few which always top the list and remain unbeaten include washing clothes and shaving. Its all because i keep fearing each one of them, i hardly take a bath on sunday. You see i hardly find any time. Facing the monday morning with every planned thing untouched shivers me up.
2) News reports boasting someone: It may seem its fully faltu to fear something so stupid. But boss you should watch news channels catching random roaming people and making them comment on blah blah attaining blah feat. And then follow the unending murmurs: "East or West blah blah is best", "Blah blah is great", "we love u blah blah", "i feel in todays world .... hjhsdjsa.... sjdhsaj" (a sudden break from news reporter finally breaks his non-abating tempo). I fear heavily that one day it would be me who would end up on either side of the conversation: i mean either boasting someone or holding mic (Nah me getting boasted over a news channel seems hardly probable. Though the speed with which news channels are turning insane, the possibility cannot be negated. And believe me, that would be no less fearful)
3) Reality shows and SMS: I don't know if the show producers really know that but sending an SMS here at our place does get charged. But lemme be clear. No horror serial/movie isn't as horrifying as these shows. I really worry if i keep on watching the reality shows, time's not far when i would unknowingly type "&*&* A" or "LEAD #" and send that to 56789. Lines are open from saturday 10.... Arggghhh You see the side-effect. It just sticks and stinks inside. And even unknowingly you start blabbering the rules. Now thats the fear.
4) Google Homepage: Seemingly harmless bot, this is the most dreadful thing among the lot. I myself feel am addicted to this dude now. After atleast every 1 hour of joblessness, I feel to face this faceless creature. I fear he would one day take over my mind one day and and spread his crawler bots to digg out the information hidden inside. The phrase (and widely used "About me" statement in social profiles) "My mind is an open book" would literally turn into "My mind is an open searchable entity. Just google it dude". Its really scary.

I guess i should stop for now. Its the Sunday night, have just seen an episode of reality show, been targeted by the boasting news reports recently and just now ebbed myself my visiting google.com. So before I really get bogged down by fear, let me reveal the plan. Plan is i am going to not fear any of these things. Simple solutions is not watch television, no web surfing (surfing without googling??? Just can't imagine) and yep no work postponement. I know that's pretty 'new year resolutions'ish type of statements, but a start need to be made. Once i regain my control over these things, i will move to few other fearmakers. Till then good night. Its me signing off for tonight. Will meet next Sunday same time .. Argghhhh need to sleep. Fearmakers on their way!!!

Update:As if the "Google" fear i talked about earlier wasn't enough, there struck this video which intensified this fearmakers effect on my "blogged" mind. Thats quite creepy.

Blogged with Flock

Laugh Monkey Laugh...

"Give me a strip of laughter dose please."

I know i do blabber pretty brainless sometimes. But then thats what comes to my mind whenever they yell "Laughter is the best medicine". So if thats the case, why pretend that its not sold in the medical stores? It is indeed sold by a lot of agents, with political leaders leading the race followed by the so called "Blah-Blah Rights Protection" buffs. Anyways thats not the purpose of this post's existence (Hmmm ... Interesting!!). Why this post lie here has its own insight.

Along my stroll down the web's spider lane, I came across an article "10 Benefits of Laughter, and How to Use It". Triggered my weird thoughts. As each point scanned under my eyes, my mind blogged through the idiotic wanderings. "Why"'s and "What if"'s started cracking under my skull. And the only way to abate that was to pen it down. So here goes the autopsy....

Imagine a comment from a person something like "Buddy, i finally reduced the level of cortisol, epinephrine, adrenaline and dopamine man. Been long since i laughed." I mean may be thats true, but is there any need to know that? How does that matter which '-ol' or '-ine' i reduce. Really makes me think why do these dudes have to break down something simple like "Stress level" to all these '-ine's. Put it simple yaar. "Laughter reduces stress level" and one doesn't require any scientist to tell him that. Its instinctive.

Plus they say laughter is a great workout. Okie, point taken. So from tomorrow onwards i will go to gym and break into a huge roar of laughter. Being highly contagious as they say, it won't take long to spread all through the company. Now come the two threads from Butterfly effect which my life can take.
  • It instills the positive mind frame in all the employees. And similarly all the city dwellers and finally to the whole country and then comes world. I win Noble prize for spreading happiness all around.
  • Employees feel a complete physical release of tensions and all deadlines are forgotten. The behaviour spreads to the country and i am charged with contempt. I find the scientist who did this research and kill him. I am hanged.
Moreover a research suggests that optimistic (where's the connection with laughter dude?) people live healthy and longer. Now thats obvious. An optimist would never say "I have got cancer buddy". Rather he would insist its a kind of a roller ball running round his stomach providing him guffaws. So never would you see him saying he is ill. Thats it. He is healthier for the world.

Anyways fun apart, one point does hit the bull's eye. A smile costs absolutely nothing. So why not spread it on the face. I just wear it on and live on. Without really caring if it does benefit me or not. But one thing is for sure. It does spread some kind of freshness to one's mind and to the face. So cut the crap buddy and spread the smile. It does make difference!!!

An Apple a day...

We Rule!!! Another instant thought! Throughout my life, from a tender age when i was railing on my knees, I have never been a "Frutomaniac". I mean i have never been an idiotic fruits lover. When kiddies around me were busy drooling over all sorts of fruits, i was busy enjoying fats. Parents kept forcing me to push fruits in myself and i kept on running away making faces and crying like hell. And as always, the childish weeping bomb won over the parental force. And as i grew up, i was installed with an image for each fruit i was made to eat, forcibly. Follows the list (Don't expect this list to be exhaustive. If you do, stop eating fruits and go visit a doctor)
  • Custard Apple: This is the one who i met earliest. And as i visualize this guy, up stands the Tom Hanks from "Forrest Gump". Poor Chap who everybody just rips apart and relish. Hence goes my sympathies with this rusty.
  • Orange: This guy stands as one of the protagonists from any of the "American Pie" series. I mean he is all time dressed up just to get undressed. Capable of bring tears rolling down even with its peels. And a simple aim in life; lose his virginity (remember how you undress an orange with your thumb :P)
  • Pomegranate: Here come another rusty guy. But he is by no means the sympathy earning one. I mean, to start with, its no child's play to name and start relishing him. Even if you if do open him up, he starts poking his seeds in your tooth cavities; once his choco mate has played its part.
  • Watermelon: The chubby fat dumb a**. His black seeds depicting his face with pimples all over. As expected he has to be juicy. And its enough to drivel along your arms over your shirt. I never remember me mating him with my shirt over.
  • Mango: The dude in the gang. Luck has always favored this guy unlike the poor custard apple. He is smart, he is rich, smells and tastes heaven. In short has all the qualities that can draw any female counter part in the fruit fraternity crazy. The news is he is dating Banana these days, you know that stripper round the corner. Yep the same fair chick ;)
  • Apple: And finally comes the most opportune guy among them all. Reasons unknown, this brat runs along every corner right from the mommy's kitchen (Apple pie, which is mostly without any 'apple'ish touch) to the Doc's clinic (An Apple a day ... the real interpretation follows). I mean he does hardly anything to earn fame. But sometimes its just divine providence and hence he earned the blog title too.
Thats just a small list of chaps who have significant thrust over my memory. There are many others like the ugly fat jackfruit or the sexy berries or the fearful grapes or the sleepy papaya. But then these don't stand enough ground.

And before I end the post, lemme just clarify one thing. There is more as to why Apple earned the title here than just his fortune. For last few days, i have been made to eat apple daily claiming that "An apple a day keeps the doctor away". Its been just two weeks or so, and lemme assure you one thing. An apple a day does have guts enough to keep anyone away. Doc was just the poor guy who fell into the trap!!!

Blogged with Flock

When is a kilogram that is no longer a kilogram still a kilogram?

Another random crawl through the web brought me to this interesting fact. It seems it really is a big riddle to find a solution for. I mean look at the riddle. It does ring a bell for an ardent Hindi movie buff. (won't call it Bollywood!!! Though am not sure why, but as they say some things are better unexplained. May be a bit Patriotic feeling, which pops up every now and then). A famous dialog from the movie "Chupke Chupke" starring Dharmendra and Amitabh. "Gende Ka Ful Ful Ho kar bhi ful kyun nahi hain?" starts guffawing into the ear. By the way here goes the main story:
"A riddle: When is a kilogram that is no longer a kilogram still a kilogram? Answer: When the chunk of metal that serves as the official international standard for the kilogram, under triple lock-and-key in France since 1889, inexplicably sheds a little weight.Very little, though. The cylinder of platinum and iridium, sitting under three concentric glass bells like a metallic round of goat's cheese, is 50 micrograms lighter than the average of several dozen copies."
Weighty mystery: kilo standard sheds 50 micrograms - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

Software Programmers Panico!!!

As a follow-up to an earlier post titled 'Quality Confidus', here goes another one. The theme for this was bubbling in my mind right from the day this lack of confidence for quality came to my notice. But the world is too full with nonsensical stuff to let you think about anything else. So this time round just closed my thought radar and blogged this post first.

So the story goes like this. This whole lack of confidence among the software programmers and managerial "stuff" makes me wonder how really a programmers life is (Are managers really human? Am a bit skeptic about this fact. So let us call them stuff for now). I mean, thanks to this whole Bug-Raga that rings in their ears day round, the time is not far when we may see a conversation sort as follows:

SP2: What the heck? Are you serious?
SP1: Yeah man. I am really worried now. And confused too! Really i don't know how this happened
SP2: Did you try resolving the issue. I mean try adding some stubs in code dude.
SP1: Did everything buddy. But its still the same. I don't know what will Emailo say. (Emailo is the manager 'stuff'. I hope it does ring some bells)
SP2: Yeah. You have to work on this crisis. No one else can help and you know that. By the way what were you trying to do?
SP1: See nothing complex of sort. I had to blah blah blah. So what i did was i created a class extending blah and implementing blah with blah method overridden. Then i created a static object for blah blah blah.... (Thats what SP2 interpreted)
SP2: Ya got that. Dude that indeed is not that complex (Thats called Geekology!!!). I know you will resolve this soon. But lemme tell you one thing. You have to come out of this mess soon. Because Emailo will think otherwise that you are not giving your 100% (Though everyone knows thats the truth. I mean if i give work 100%, how will social networking and IM's pull through).
SP1: I know buddy.
SP2: But i am still baffled yaar. How can your Code run at the first go dude! Thats completely unimaginable!!! I would just say try a bit of "Re-bugging". My best wishes are with you dude
SP1: Thanks pal. By the way, do you know of any free downloadable "Rebuggers"!!!

PS: Here though SP is supposed to stand for a "Software Programmer". But i feel there is another signifying expansion explaining condition of this Entity: Shoddy 'n Pitiable!!!

Thats tagged as:

Global Warming Culprits: Cows and Pigeons join the party!!!

Been on watch for something interesting. And there came two strolling down. Its like asking for Halle and earning Serena and Venus together. But anyways as i have got them now, let me show some respect to both.

So crawling round the web I came across two interesting stories. Everything has to do with the mind blogging and ever growing globally warmed issue(/fiasco??) of global warming. I feel scientist are too bored to pull out new points to discuss when everything has really been cut open. There are few great "humanophobic"s who really are after the human race to end themselves, so that there future generations can live long in peace (Quite weird huh. Where the heck will future generation fall from? As far as my knowledge goes, technology there with Souls hasn't reached the height to pull out humans from themselves. Or has it? Don't think so). While there are other mankind lovers who just believe that we, the humans, can never trouble others (pretty optimistic boss). So there go the stories possibly scripted by these mankind maniacs.

Let us look at the first one. Its about the failed interstate bridge over the Mississippi River. The inspectors believe that pigeons played a tantamount role in bringing it down along with heavy traffic, missing bolts and cracking steel. It seems these fatty pigeons out there in Mississippi go on and on shitting along the bridge, that too without wearing diapers, thinking it to be the government provided pigeon-open latrines. And its this dung that corroded the bridge and made it weaker killing tens. Chances are that this dung will kill many others at different locations. So its the pigeons who torture and trouble others and not the human. Man-kind maniacs score one. Catch the story here:
The second story directly hits the bulls eye at global warming. Some scientists believe now that cows may act as the protagonists in the global warming saga. (Dude, are you bored with humans now. Or are you trying to cash on the fact that there are no scientists or bloggers in cow fraternity?) It is believed that as a cow burps, she throws out the methane gas, a powerful greenhouse agent (this name always makes me jump in my seat. Those bloody gases have got quite interesting name. Lucky them!!!). Have a look at the story:
If you go through the report closely, there is one thing that will amaze every sensible man. And it is present in any report these days. Look at the height of depth (crazy isn't it???) the statistics go. 100 gallons of methane per cow per day and so on. Am really skeptic as to how they dig this data out. I mean, dude, 1 burp each 40 seconds? Uhhh give me a break.

Anyways these stories may seem rather amusing and ludicrous. But they can affect the lives of these two cow-pigeon fraternity. Think how would be the environment out there among these poor buddies. And as i become a bit time-filled brat again, i surely will.

Thats tagged as:

"Independence Day" Celebrations ???

Been "off-post" for quite a long time now. Spent some heavily burdensome days for the last month or so. Really felt it was like a CD crash at a perfect and best scene you have been drooling for. Anyways a nice break at home and am back to normal. Hopefully there are no crashes so forth.

This post is warm-up swing. Had lots of ideas bubbling around, but just couldn't manage to pen them down. Wish i had the Dumbledore's random magical pensive so that i could just stroll down the memory lane and pick up the thought pebbles (though truly speaking i couldn't visualized that silvery stuff as something from brain. Ya, my nose did give a jerk on its reference). So back to the post from my slippery (!!!) thoughts, following is my attempt to bring out how indeed the independence day holiday is celebrated. My degree of independence on the day was surely not one to be rejoiced. That pain was enough to bring out this abnormal print out.

P.S.: I know this damn is not readable, virtually i mean. Just click it to zoom in. Hope it gets readable, not just virtually :D

Microsoft's Secret of Success Lies in.....

There has always been this indelible discussion to find out what makes all these successful corporates and biggies attain the status they hold. Be it Google, Apple, Ubuntu or Microsoft. One question would be why just these four? I would say they lead where they are. Anyways a general consensus is formed over work ethics and culture and innovation and customer satisfaction and blah blah blah. But I feel the reason lies somewhere in the logo they hold. I thought if that was really the case, then one can surely see a statement from each of these biggies as follows:

Google: "Dude logos are important. We have a special group assigned for that. Moreover there is a daily 2% 'Logo time' for each employee. Look at our color combination. Look at its display. Look how we repeat the colors. Look how letters flow. Look at their inclinations. Buddy, thats the secret behind our success."

Apple (after iPhone): "Obviously man. Do you think we don't take logos seriously. We spend millions of dollars over deciding what colors to choose, what shape to choose. Look at our logo. See the shape of the apple, the leaf. Look how just a single bite is out of that", with more of a sadistic smile "as if ready to eat Microsoft up. Buddy, thats the secret behind our success."

Ubuntu: "Boss, do you think we are mad to neglect importance of logos? We build our softwares afterward. First thing is to decide upon the logo. We make each member of open source community to come up with his own version and select best through voting. Look at the delicate design formed. Look at the font used. Look at the curves. Buddy, thats the secret behind our success."

Microsoft (after Vista): "Obviously man. Do you think we are mad to neglect importance of logos? Dude logos are important. We have a special group assigned for that. We build our softwares afterward. First thing is to decide upon the logo. We spend millions of dollars over deciding what colors to choose, what shape to choose. Look at our color combination. Look at its display. Look at the delicate design formed. Look at the font used. Look at the curves."

One guy with zero credibility senselessly stands up and puts a sensible question. "Sir, sorry to interrupt you. But whatever you are saying is a simple amalgamation of what Google, Apple and Ubuntu say. That is a copy from different sources."

In comes the reply from Microsoft guy, in the coolest possible way: "Buddy, thats the secret behind our success."

[PS: The above situation is completely a virtual (truth). No hard feelings intended. Yes but if someone does get hurt, I would just say one thing: "Go to hell".]

Thats tagged as:

Quality 'Confidus' for Softwares!!!

First thought one may get is what this title really mean. Truly speaking not something amazingly mind blogging. But I just kept scratching my bum over searching for the right word which i hardly could. So just replaced it with something sensefull and thought who cares. After all thats how new words are born and as an ardent user of English language its my even responsibility to add to its vast sea of gibberishes.

Ahh so backing to the topic, recently i heard about this CMM5 quality guru and an incident that happened with him. Forgive me I am bad at remembering the names. But anyways how does that really matter what you call him. In my senses lets say Mr D . This supposedly techie guy used to resurrect the importance of quality in software projects. It so happened that D had this kiddish habit of forcing his listeners into some situations and then try screw them when they answer. However this time around he promoted himself to a sadistic charm. He had a group of project leads as his listeners. Yawny as they always are, Mr D put them into a bit of critical situation. Here goes the conversation, obviously a spicy virtual one:

Mr D: Suppose you are boarding an aircraft which is a fully high tech one with Auto Pilot system, lights running all around, virtual air hostesses of shape and size of your choices. But the catch here is the whole software running is developed by your project group. There are no parachutes or any kind of emergency exit system. So in case your software fails, you rest in peace in your cosy container. Choice is yours; board the plane or pain your board.

Leads by now were pulled back to their senses. Seeing there life at stake, everyone hesitated to even walk in the aircraft. Their minds were running on a track somewhat as: "What the heck. Dude am least comfortable with aircrafts running with software developed by these geeks under me. Who knows these bastards left some untied piece inside. I don't understand a shit and they don't give a damn." Actually speaking, Mr D was bubbling inside as this was his chance of scoring goal on quality. But suddenly a hand rose. Not only D but every single 'D'umbo inside was shocked.

Mr D: Buddy lemme get it clear. Is it some kind of joke or you really are that confident. Dude this isn't something what i expected. Tell me how are you so confident with your team. What do you run for so much quality control. Speak up before everyone leaves this room and rush to book a call with you.
The One(cool and yawny as always): Cool down man. Am least worried to board the aircraft. And I know nothing is gonna happen to me. Rather I am not gonna go anywhere. Just for the simple reason that if the aircraft is build by my team, it can never take off. Engines would never kick off."

Just a midget silence and the whole room roared up into a huge burst of laughter. It got virtually transfered to a ball room where no one except performer cares how he perform. Mr D needed hardly anything to prove his point.

This whole lack of quality confidus (got something to do with confidence, but i though thats not the perfect word ;) may rise to a level which would lead to a new breed of IT conversations. I am dressing it up. It would rise soon. Something by the name: Programmer's Panico !!! Do hook up.

Decoding IM's !!!

A drowsy Friday afternoon. One sits at his desk, gazing at his clock arms strolling round its face. Just when he is completely down; about to dream his imaginations, a sudden buzz of "Hi" rises at the south-east end of his desktop. A smile props up at his face thinking 'Thanks buddy for a bit of relief'. And suddenly something happens and he, the savior, is gone with his work done. You sit there stunned, trying to grasp what really stormed out. But plain abortive attempts! Incidents like these have happened with me many times now. Just another similar incident and i thought there is an exigent need to decrypt what the incoming messages really mean. So here i am penning down meanings of just a few abrupt messages which i have been decoding for quite sometime now ...

HI (all caps) - "Look here u idiot... am too busy unlike u"
hi - "am bored like hell ... and its a command u should talk to me. Anyways everyone knows how much work you do .... lol!!!"
hi ... rut or u there- "reply soon u dumb... am in hurry and have some important work for you"
what's up or kya chal raha hain - "i am least interested in what you reply, but for formality. and even i know your answer is going to be the same ... 'am fine' "
thankxx - "am done with my work .... don't expect any more messages after this"
uhhhh - "go to hell"
hhahha - "buddy i have to run ... ok ok .. that was good ... stop it for haven's sake now"
hmmmm - "my mind's empty now boss ... have nothing sensible to say.. "
ok ok bye - "thats the last statement from me dude. nothing here after; even if u keep shouting your stomach out"
abe sun %$%^* - usual entry statement by a member of RandomBots

These are just a few messages which i was somehow able to demystify. May be not always do they convey the same meaning as stated. But then it goes for any decoded stuff boss. It's meaning is not always what it is decoded as. However, there are many others which are enthusiastically popping to get naked. But they just keep fluctuating there meanings even more often than Sachin Tendulkar's form. I am working part-time to decrypt those. Truly speaking, without really getting paid. Or am I? ;)

Powerpoints??? Good Gracious!!! Save Me

  • "Following slide talks about the XYZ. As Some Dude defined, XYZ is blah blah blah, more blah blah blah. This blah blah further blah blah blahs.... "
  • "As the figure shows, the blah grows over time making it correlate with some blah .. so that ..."
Just a sec. Look at the listener boss. He is a mere dozing reader enthralled completely into what the slide pukes at him. Numerous occasions throughout my student as well as professional life, have I confronted such expressions myself. On several other occasions, i made others to peep that expression at me. Yes indeed powerpoint slides are the presenters buddy. But there is a way how powerpoints slides are not to be made and if they are, be ready for a fun ride with a very few drooling listeners who are either unluckily close enough to you or not in enough senses to flee as remainders did.

Watch the following hilarious video "Life After Death by PowerPoint" by "Don McMillan" and one gigglingly gets into the groove of what not to do in powerpoints.

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Answers Unquestioned!!!

Just personifying the randomness, i thought of few answers to some trifling questions. I know these are the answers unquestioned, but my mind said, at least for me, these are questions unanswered too.

1) Greenview, a hospital in Jakassandra area, was named so because of the view a person sees when he peeps out of a window, irrespective of the side he is on. In the front, a dark green gutter with water bubbling and scenting its way forward, welcomes him. Behind he sees a rock solid demented garbage. Numerous occasions has BMC tried to move it, but thanks to its insane determination, the garbage continues to zero all the BMC's efforts. Either sides provide a deserted plot, green as they are, all credit to the numerous organisms decomposing 'em off. So thanks to the hospital management's endeavors, patients have something to green about. Finally, thats what he requires the most.

2) A shop-keeper on Hosur road has his shop named *7%^& (this is something in Kannada, so couldn't understand that. A humble call, not to be misinterpreted with its usual meaning :D) Tnasportions. I feel, he just wanted to make it clear what his shop was about. Because he felt not everyone can make sense of something in Kannada. But English, boss its a universal language. I am still waiting to see it unclosed one day. Curious as i am about his work.

3) Auto and truck drivers are really eager to know how a person following him looks; does he deserve following him or not. So a simple solution they found was to write "Stop" at their bum. Now, dignified persons as they are, they face a problem. After all, who likes others staring at their posterior. So what they do is just add an "OK" tag to tell, "Enough gazing my rear boss."

Enough answering unquestioned questions. There are few more answers waiting to burst out of my mind. But as of now, I am busy slanting my mind to digest these first.

A good reason for making MARATHI as National Language!!!

Following are few statements which I found quite humorous!!! Look how our National Language is getting ruined:) Just enjoy the various marathi words used beautifully between the various hindi words. Am really sorry , but you can enjoy these statements only if you understand Marathi well. The contents are only for humorous purpose. No hard feelings plz:)

1. "Woh paaus itna tha na, saab vahan-bihan baand hai"

2. My friends dad giving instructions to the carpentar: "Woh kapat jaara bhiint ko laga ke rakho"

3. Instruction number 2: "dhyan se woh saali (iron rod) lagega"

4. A friend going off to dinner: "mein jara jevan jevne ko jaa raha hai"

5. "Mera Bus thodake me chuka.. ;)"

6. A Bai to Bhandewaali bai: "Tumne ye bhanda theek se nahi ghasa isliye hamara doodh naasa"

7. A person to another: "woh dhaavtey dhaavtey gaya ani dhappa kani pada!!
ani dala dala rakhta aane laga"

8. This happened once in Parliament. Marathi MP: "Adhyaksha maharaj, mera prashna ye hai ki wph jo lok wargani gola ki hai uska hishob nahi diya?"

9. After accident on a road in Pune: "Humne kya muddam se thokyaa kyaa??"

10. "Are, dheere dheere oto, saandega to kon bhar ke dega?"

11. "Are bhai kya huva malum hai kya.. Mai na pahile panime SHIRA aur phir POHA..aur badme DUBA..."

12. "Bhayia , medhuwada, sambhar mein budavke mat lana"

13. "Khao khao potbhar khao sharam to hain nahi na? (jeva jeva potbhar
jeva lajat tar naahi naa?)"

14. "Raasta bahut walan wala that , is-liye mein gadi saukash chalaya"

15. "Printer main Paper ubha nahi adva dalo , landscape hai"

16. "Un pakshiyon me kaavala, chimni, popat , moar sab the. Udte udte woh sab dooor ek shet me pahunche. Javal-ch ek mandir tha. Sab pakshiyon ne paani piya, khaya, aur gappa marya. Shaam ko woh sab ud gaye"

17. "Bhaisaab, thoda chinch ka paani dalna"

18. "Kal ke raje ke liye mereko boss se paravanagi lena padega"