Amit Gawande

After a welcome phase of independence from my smartphone, I am back to fidgeting unnecessarily with the device. I keep it close to me when I shouldn’t. Notifications have started pestering me again. They hack my focus away. I know the reason, I have given up on my resolve to not hand over the control. It didn’t happen instantaneously. It happened gradually, over time. Now I feel the burning sensation like a slowly boiling frog.

There was a time when I used to go to any extends to stay away from the device. Keep it in the next room. No apps. No notifications. Never next to the bed. YouTube disabled. And on and on. Eventually, every time I picked it, a bulb lighted in my brain reminding me to not surrender.

And the pesky device conquered those defences one by one, without me realising. It started with a few apps. Then their notifications. Then a need to watch and share a YouTube video from the device. Before I realised, I was wishing good night to my phone lying in the bed.

Today, I was on my computer, the powerful personal computer which can cater to all my commands. But I reached out, as if out of habit, to the smartphone just to peek at those apps, the web versions of which I had just visited. I knew I was sick again.

My smartphone has become the most personal thing I own, but also the one I need to frequently stay away the farthest from.

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