After almost a month of chaos, I sit at my desk on an evening with nothing eating up my brain. Nothing too urgent. Or Demanding. I like this sense of calmness, this feeling of being idle. It’s this hollowness, the lack of thoughts, that birth the words in me.
Otherwise, I am busy drowning those thoughts in guilty pleasures. Scrolling meaninglessly. Reading, but not really reading. Binging on YouTube videos. I do that with the hope of feeling relaxed. Instead, all it leaves me is feeling futile.