Excursions

by Amit Gawande

Quality 'Confidus' for Softwares!!!

First thought one may get is what this title really mean. Truly speaking not something amazingly mind blogging. But I just kept scratching my bum over searching for the right word which i hardly could. So just replaced it with something sensefull and thought who cares. After all thats how new words are born and as an ardent user of English language its my even responsibility to add to its vast sea of gibberishes.

Ahh so backing to the topic, recently i heard about this CMM5 quality guru and an incident that happened with him. Forgive me I am bad at remembering the names. But anyways how does that really matter what you call him. In my senses lets say Mr D . This supposedly techie guy used to resurrect the importance of quality in software projects. It so happened that D had this kiddish habit of forcing his listeners into some situations and then try screw them when they answer. However this time around he promoted himself to a sadistic charm. He had a group of project leads as his listeners. Yawny as they always are, Mr D put them into a bit of critical situation. Here goes the conversation, obviously a spicy virtual one:

Mr D: Suppose you are boarding an aircraft which is a fully high tech one with Auto Pilot system, lights running all around, virtual air hostesses of shape and size of your choices. But the catch here is the whole software running is developed by your project group. There are no parachutes or any kind of emergency exit system. So in case your software fails, you rest in peace in your cosy container. Choice is yours; board the plane or pain your board.

Leads by now were pulled back to their senses. Seeing there life at stake, everyone hesitated to even walk in the aircraft. Their minds were running on a track somewhat as: "What the heck. Dude am least comfortable with aircrafts running with software developed by these geeks under me. Who knows these bastards left some untied piece inside. I don't understand a shit and they don't give a damn." Actually speaking, Mr D was bubbling inside as this was his chance of scoring goal on quality. But suddenly a hand rose. Not only D but every single 'D'umbo inside was shocked.

Mr D: Buddy lemme get it clear. Is it some kind of joke or you really are that confident. Dude this isn't something what i expected. Tell me how are you so confident with your team. What do you run for so much quality control. Speak up before everyone leaves this room and rush to book a call with you.
The One(cool and yawny as always): Cool down man. Am least worried to board the aircraft. And I know nothing is gonna happen to me. Rather I am not gonna go anywhere. Just for the simple reason that if the aircraft is build by my team, it can never take off. Engines would never kick off."

Just a midget silence and the whole room roared up into a huge burst of laughter. It got virtually transfered to a ball room where no one except performer cares how he perform. Mr D needed hardly anything to prove his point.

This whole lack of quality confidus (got something to do with confidence, but i though thats not the perfect word ;) may rise to a level which would lead to a new breed of IT conversations. I am dressing it up. It would rise soon. Something by the name: Programmer's Panico !!! Do hook up.